I feel so much unwilling to leave my house at Kepong... But i have too. Tiredness still all over my body. I don't know when can i get the excitement before i go to work. So far...i still can't get the feeling. Always look forward for the off day. It was one of my dream, but now...

Aiks, no matter what, i will still keep on moving.

I'm off to work...bye guys.

What a wonderful outing today. Sing K and movie in a row... At least i entertain myself this time when i'm back to Kepong. Feel so good man!!!

ARhhHh...back to work tomorrow. I will be back on 3rd of January. See you guys next year=)

I am back once again...

Two days ago, that was a terrible flight that i had been so far... I was born to be that face, cannot change. Please don't judge from my outlook, i am not as soft as you thought, i am not BLUR as you see. I will prove to you that i am not what you think i am and office job as secretary is NOT my job!!! Don't simply call me to cockpit while that was not the Captain's order, i am not a prostitute or whatsoever. I work as fast as i could, don't put all the blame on me. I'm looking forward for the next flight with you and i will prove you wrong.

Hey hey, i will be off to Sepang soon...

Two days of staying in Kepong, i stay at home all the time, sleep most of the time. Seldom go out besides visit someone in hospital. I guess mum also know i'm tired that's why every morning never wake me up for pasar. But, i really want to follow. Too bad, everytime when i was awake, she already went out.

Friends from Aussie and China will be coming back soon, i'm really looking forward for that day to come. Everytime i'm back here, the first thing in my mind is to hang out wiht Mulians, but nowadays... Less and less activities, our dai lou is on vacation. Aiks.. How nice if all the Mulians are here...

I will be back on 26th night, catch up with you guys soon... Babai~~~

Does it really matter?

I know it is matter for some reason, but not for everything. No everyone can leave without money, this is a fact. But everyone can't live without health.

My main point of today's blog is about money, does it really matter? If you just keep quiet everytime and don't keep on mention in front of me when everytime i am back, i will be very happy to share mine with you because i know is my responsibilities. The more i have, the more you will demand for and the more you expect from me. Please stop doing this to me and get the darn paper out of my table!!!

If things still happen like this, i will rather stay outside and don't want to come back here and i will just see you in the BANK!!!

I understand why things become like this but just give me some space to breath, i clearly understand what my responsibility is towards this family. I am just 20 and i am just officially come out to work, please give me some time to settle down all these. Don't be so 'pushy' towards me. Later or sooner, i really can't take it anymore.

Flying is always one of my dream, everytime before i go to work or even i receive a call during standby, i will always tell myself, 'enjoy your work' even though i feel super tired and don't want to get off of my bed.

Yesterday was my first flight to Shenzhen, during transit i had a chance to stand at the aerobridge and feel the 'air' of China, it was so windy that time, the airport was so big. Flight finished at 2am in the morning.

Third time of solo, not even one time i feel satisfied for myself. Got to work very very hard until i don't do any mistake on board and make all things just like peanuts for me.

I'm going to hibernate now for one day....zZz

Yesterday was the company Annual dinner, unfortunately i didn't attend because i already bought the movie ticket=S From their Fcebook, i can see they are having so much of fun. Hopefully next year i can be there.

Today is my standby day, the feeling was... I can't do anything for the standby period, got to bring my phone with me all the time and put it in a high coverage area. Until 2030, i feel so happy because i am released!!!

Going out to 'WET' later, hooray!!!

Finally, I'd finished the SNY flight where i can get rid of the 'Trainee' name tag and my name is not 'Trainee'. After three days of flying, exhaustion is thing that i cannot escape, waking up every 4am in the morning is not an easy thing. But, the satisfactions after finish all the workload is so superb.

I get off day today until Friday. Stay at home most of the time, if time permit, i would like to hang out=P

The best thing i came back home is to see the one i loved, a person who always care about me when i am sick, ask me to take medic on time, i can't live without you.

Home sweet home, i lovin' it.

I'd made it!!! I feel so much released right now=) Next stop i know is gonna be tougher than this. I'd been to this far, i will not give up no matter what.

Thanks for all the encouragements from everyone.

Thank You

I feel so grateful and thankful that I'm blessed by so many peoples. This year is the great birthday I'd ever been through. Even though i'm not at my own house, but i can still feel the warmth from everyone of my friend. SMS, call, facebook, suprise... That's really out of my expectation.

Thanks to...
1) Mulians who come all the way from kepong. I really love to be with you all.
2)Taekwondo mates who brought me to a very nice place for dinner. Unforgettable place and night=)
3) Batch 97 who brought me the 'Crazy cake' and brought me up to speak a little on the bench. Lup you guys, muackxxx!
4) KBU mates for not forgetting my birthday with the adorable card written with wishes, it's worth more than anything.

6) PWRC who suprise me with the present, haha... Thanks=)
7) Phone calls all the way from UK & Aussie as well as text messages. Thanks!!!
8) Blessing and wishes on facebook

Deepest appreciation from my heart. THANK YOU!!!

Even though i'm tired, i know is worth it... I'd made it!!! Two more days to go... I hope i am the survivor, i will survive!!! Yay!!!

Yes, i am back to Kepong again. This time, the first person i met was San San, thanks a lot for accompanying me to buy my 1 and 2 shoes, haha... Thank you very very muchie!!! Nice to see you back...ngek ngek ngek.

I can't wait for tomorrow, my first time...yohoo!!!

I feel so unsecured, pray that tomorrow things will be alright... I cannot afford to fail...
Be cool, be calm... I know i can.

Fear

After so many of exams... First time i feel fear for the upcoming exam. Countless papers. I'd just completed all the assessments today and got my previous Mid Term results, pass but...is not satisfying.




Jumping the slide is always the happiest part, the moment i jump down, WHAO!!!


Staying in this place ( you know where i'm saying), is totally NO LIFE!!! the last weekends, i bored till like hell... No life no life no life!!! The only thing i can do besides study, is to wash my car, clean up the house, lie on the bed, red story book...that's all. No Internet access that is the most terrible part!!!

The happiest moment when you look back the pictures had been captured. Everyone is happy after all... (while waiting the rest )

Another tiring day, because of tired shopping, watch movie in Alamanda. That movie was nice, by Rain, called Ninja Assassin.

I miss another precious day to study... Nvm, study hard, play hard.

Zzz....

At this moment, i feel very sleepy. I just came back from Morib not long ago, get myself shower, check facebook and...here i am.

Flashing back what i had done yesterday, i...am so careless. But, i will learn from mistake.

zZz

Yo, here i am~~~ Ta da~~~

Errrr...quite a tough week for me, but...i still enjoy it. I don't know the results for the previous exam. After a day, i don't really care about the results, just a bit... There are something which is out of my control that make me really worry about. grrHHhhh~~~

Well well well, guess who i met today and who's the one i was sending flight again this afternoon? Is Chai Yeow Yuan!!! So nice of her that she willing to come few hours early just to meet me up during my lunch time. She will be off to China for about one month and of course she will be back=) Weeee~~~

I wish i can go back this week, but...is too little time for me=( Bear with me for a while, i will be back!!! =P

I gonna miss you bery bery muchhh!!! Xiao Chai!!!

life

Friday night (20/11/09), another memorable night for PWRC. Even the time we gather is short but i enjoy it very much. Of course, thanks a lot for the surprising present, i appreciate it very much. I never knew our relationship can last for so long and so tight. Friends forever and i'm looking forward for the upcoming outing.

Saturday night (21/11/09), another good night for me. My beloved beh beh is back to Kepong and 8.30pm girls talk session, 10pm MULIANS talk session. Mulians are always one heart, even though we are sitting down and doing nothing, but our conversation can go nonstop, endless of laughter. Surprisingly, quite a lot of mulians attended, which is me, yeow yuan, khan jack, daryl, keng wei, aimi, hooi san, li ying, chai yee, jiunn herng, of course BEH BEH la...I left at 1something, i don't know about others... I really enjoy chit chatting with them. Very very much!!!

Today, as usual...every time i come back to Kepong, early in the morning i will go out with mum, Pasar Pagi is the compulsory one. Hang around, bought some stuff, had breakfast together. Wow...i love this moment!!!

Not to forget, i study also... Inside my mind or not, i don't know. I think YES!!!

Coming weeks, i will not be coming back until 8th of Dec. Will announce again when i come back...WEEeee~~~

I just get to know... I might not be in KL any longer. I did say yes in the beginning but in my deep heart, 100% of unwillingness to be based in another state. If so, i just have to take it. Move there together with a group of them, hopefully...and stay together. The person i miss the most gonna be my mum. All of these are just prediction, i MIGHT.

Fire drill and wet drill practice the whole day. Practical is always the best part among the all.

By now, i should have start doing revision, but i just can't stop looking back at the pictures. I always enjoy looking back at all the pictures over and over again. Especially pictures I'd taken with M-group and PWRC.

......

Wet Drill

First day of wet drill, i get a chance to try on the slide raft, it was a really great experience. I wish i got the chance to shout the command perhaps next time, but not during emergency, i want it during training. It was a tiring day but it was so much fun.

Guess what, who i saw in the airport yesterday besides Ms Beh Beh? I don't want to say the name here. This fellow always like to be so suspense, where to go, when will be back, NO INFO!!! Anyhow, wish him all the best. Now you know is a guy, right? I guess you know who he is already.

Mulians mulians... getting lesser, more and more leaving. When is the day we will gather again???

I feel sleepy all the time... ArhhHH!!! I'd been sitting in front of computer for more than 30minutes. Hang out with friends at mamak for more than 1 hour and now i still feel lazy to study. I wish i can straight away lie on my bed now. I feel so uncomfortable, toilet stuck, i can't puuu!!!

Beh beh beh beh... i can't wait to see her later, yessss!!!

I got to force myself to start reading... Arhhhh!!!

Back to Kepong but i don't get a chance to meet any of my friends...=S

Well...Friday after class, there's a BBQ session organized by my bath mate at USJ. It was really fun but i got to leave early so... But i ended up arrive home late cause i lost.

Yesterday...aiks, whole day bussie bussie... I had done something to myself which make myself feel so uncontented about it. I hope time can pass faster so that i can look better.

LCCT visit on last Thursday on Groud Familiarazation. Great experiece though.

Second week of November, it isn't that great for me. Monday, i was really happy for getting full marks for three papers and 95% for another one, well...out of my expectation, my housemate brought us to Manhattan Fish Market for dinner. Because of gummed pain i couldn't enjoy that meal.

Right now, i can't even consume any rice or speak properly. Of course, when today i really can't take the pain anymore, i called my mum and eventually cried on the phone. How useless i am!!! I just miss her so much when i hear her voice, I'd been more than two weeks away from home.

SEP isn't a easy subject to study, when you can't answer a question, the instructor might just ask you get out from the class, this is what make me feel more stressful!!!

But...i still like my life anyhow, but gummed pain really make my life feel miserable.

HANG ON!!!!!!

At this very crucial moment, i am now preparing myself for tomorrow's exam. I don't know what else left to revise. I afraid i left out something but my mind is already full.

Well, yesterday was a walk in interview of Air Asia. Some of my friends were there. At first, i wanted to do my revision while waiting for them, but i ended up helping them with registration. I had no regrets in doing this, it was a great experience after all.

Of course, i left one more day to do the study for all the 5 subjects, which is today. I didn't go back to Kepong and i really miss my family, especially my mum.

A little bit more to go, HANG ON!!!

I love to be...

...a part of Batch 97. I am so glad that i am put in to join batch 97 which consists 5 GAYS who can really make the class ROCKsSS!!!

I really like when 19 of us always do things together, take lunch together, the gays even help her to 'da bao' the food all the way from LCCT. Group study, dinner, play all together-gather.

Well, today is the third time of group study. After all the questions asking session. We decided to play TWISTER which make our day... Yohoo!!! It was so fun seeing them twist their leg and hand, even the head can place between the leg. How funny is that... Vodka+ Orange juice to enhance more for the group study.

After all, it was a tiring but fun day that all the soul of batch97 had passed through together.

I love my life!!!

In Flight Training all the way down since next week. Just done with the Safety Demo assessment today. Well, it was not too tough but i need more practice to make it look perfect.

Yo, this coming Saturday will be another walk in interview for Air Asia. I am so happy that some of my friends will be coming over and I'm going to meet them up, YOHOO!!!

Someone told me look like a KID is good so that when you are 30, you still look like 20. But... i don't know this is a good quality or bad. Maybe half half. I'm trying my best to be mature, but...i just can't reach that point YET.

Not planning to go back this weekend. Duh...

AHhHhhh...what a lazy day. I HIBERNATE for the whole evening, from 4pm to 7pm, not too long, right? That's why i am quarter HIBERNATE.

Meet up with SOME of the Mulians, only SOME. Most of them are beeesieee, last time we use to have more than 10 together, 6, 5... and now only 3!!! So pathetic. Exam season, that's why loRrr...

Well, i decide to go back early tomorrow as i really can't concentrate when i'm in Kepong. Unless someone ask me out, i might stay abit longer.

Off to bed...zZz

Dare to Dream

Today's class... Out of sudden, expectations, Anthony Francis Fernandaz walked into our class. I really impressed for his achievements and his humble towards everyone. Not stingy in giving anyone an opportunity to achive there dream. Therefor, they told us 'dare to dream'. I do have a dream, not just to become a Flight Attendant, but...i wish i can become a pilot. Sounds weird huh... But ermm, i hope my dream will come true.

At this moment, i got to focus on what i suppose to, FIRST. Pass stage 1, follow by 2 and 3 and so on...


Well...exam is coming soon, i do not have much time to hang around. Work hard and achieve more!!!

Home

I realized no matter where we are, as long as we are stay away from home, the feelings of homesick is always there. For myself, first priority always give to my friends, i always miss my friends very much when i am back to Sepang, especially Mulians and PWRC. Of course, family do play a important part of it, i miss the time going out with mum in the morning. No matter how drunk i am, how tired i am, i still can get up from the bed.

Yesterday was a night that i kept flashing back all the memories in A Famosa with Mulians. I really miss it a lot. I wish i could have a chance to gather with them like this, none of them can be absent, each of them play a important role in every single trip.

Thinking about my future, how to save more money. As time goes by, my burden became heavier. Mum's getting older and she's going to close down her shop, this is one of her dream. Sit back and relax. By that time, is my responsibilities to take up this family.

One year contract, by next year, i hope i can go back to kepong, stay over there so that i can have more time to spend with my family and friends. I don't mind driving far or wake up early. As long as i can spend my time with these two groups of people, i am satisfied enough.

YES!!! I can on9 again.. But, too bad, already pass 12am. Hmmm...today (which is yesterday), no class, just a application for airport pass. Well...rain heavily and i get wet of course. Really wet, ended up using the toilet hand dryer to dry up my heels and my hair. But is quite fun though.

No more emo... I know time can heal everything. Yes!!!

Yes, i can on9 again.
Syllables over here getting tougher and tougher. Stress, very.
I'm in a very bad mood now, emo i guess.
Tomorrow will be alright.

I am back to Sepang again. Everytime when i back to here from kepong, the feelings of each time are different.

Mulians mulians, i miss everyone of you very very much=)

I do not know why the post i posted yesterday is mysteriously MIA. Well...the mood on yesterday compared to today is totally different. I came back from Sepang, i was saying i enjoy my life over there very much and i just learned First Aid. Taught by Pn. Siti Zamrud who is a very good instructor. Below is the picture that i took together with Pn.Siti and my fellow batch mates on the last day for First Aid.

Yea..so yesterday, Mulians celebrated Zheng Hao's birthday who is known as the Mulian's DAI LOU. From 12am to 4am. First in my life time. Alcohol, juices, food, snack, Karaoke and most importantly MULIANS which had made the celebration became a really nice and successful one!!! Well, i get a bit 'dizzy' yesterday, but i am still conscious.

AwWWW...i feel like life is so beautiful. With friends, family...=) I feel so glad...

Kepong

I love KEPONG, when everytime i come back to my 'HOME SWEET HOME', i feel like i need more time before the weekends say goodbye to me.

Yea, this morning, after six hours of sleep because of last night 2am yc 'Happy Hour' at Station One, i went out with mummy at the early 8am and afternoon hang out with college mates.

Luckily Charlene ask me when will be the 'PWRC turn?', if not, we will not be able to make this meeting successful. I spend a lot, really a lot!!! But on those stuff that i really need it, want to buy it so much since last week. I wish we have more time to hang around there, even for the 'meat ball' movie if possible. But too bad, both of them got to leave at 5pm.

I arrived home, drag a while and nap... Here i am to blog about today and back to sleep again...Hahahahahahaha

The powerful of CA-ME-RA

makes the memory last forever

I'm looking forward for another one

Each time gathering is the time i treasure the most.

I am back to Kepong once again. Day by day, more and more things to catch up. Cannot be lazy even for one day. I'm enjoying my life pretty much at this moment. I will never feel fed up for getting up early everyday to attend the class. Nice place, nice people.

Everytime i come back to Kepong, first thing i ever do is text one or two of the Mulians. I will never miss any chance to hang out with them, they are always part of my life. Another thing is, TKD. Since last week tournament, i really wish i can commit training every week, but i know i can't. Last but not least, KBU mates. When i saw they tag me in facebook even though i am not in the picture, i feel... Those feeling cannot describe by words. I miss everyone of them. I will never feel so until i really into that situation. Yet, life still goes on, everyone has their own life, own path.

Less than two months to go=)

I am back=)

A quick and a short one before i leave...
Few days ago i was having class as usual, but i couldn't on9 as usual=S Some of you know why.

I already forgot the feeling of attending class, how was it like, but everyday is a different feeling. Ya, i'm at my sweet home now, Kepong. I came back yesterday, suppose to reach here early, but because of that someone and some incident, i reached here at 10pm=S I couldn't buy my stuff, my plan all BURN!!! Not to forget, so sorry to YY who waited me for a few hours. Sorry~~~

Headed to Chandran after that with yy and Mulians (only a few) for my dinner, chit chat a while and went home.

Today...i guess it will be my last Tkd tournament. Nothing proud to share here. But i do enjoy all the time i passed with them today. A countless thanks to Zheng Hao, Chun Ming, Jiunn Herng, XIAO MA YI and Daryl who came and gave me a really big support. Second time you guys were there for me, thank you very much. Mulians are always a part of my life, and lighten my life up, really UP UP UP!!!

And Sook Sook too...=) thanks for the sweater=) Muackxxx muackxxx muackxxxx!!! I should kiss you like how Tan Jing did to you=P Haha...

Is late...that's all for the pass few days and today. Pictures will be uploaded in Facebook soon if i can hijack someones line=P

Chiow...

Unbelievable

2nd day of class, reach academy half an hour earlier, in case of any 'late'ness' cause i don't want to give them my L.O.V.E (letter of valid explanation).

Something i had learned today is do with the blog title. Don't want to explain all the details here, in case i lost any precious reader who will be bored of reading my blog talking all just about training.

I slowly get use to the place i'm staying now, can fall asleep easily when i'm on the bed, can 'Shit' as usual which is very good. I don't cook, but i'm ok with the food i take everyday.

I miss someone very much....

All Star

First day of class, it was tiring, from 9am to 6pm. But it was a really happy day that i had. Videos, lectures, 5inches handouts... I know there's a lot more things to learn.

I'm glad i had chosen the right airlines (at this moment, i think), those videos are really inspired me a lot. They treat everyone as human being, no ranking and working in a big family. One of the lady whom i really salute her, she was once a Flight Attendant and now she is a pilot, how great is that!!! From a no one to someone.

I'm looking forward for tomorrow's class. A lot of rules and regulations to follow, but...this is the process. Bare with them for 59days, and hopefully i can graduate and get the 'silver wing'.

BYE

Say BYE BYE to Kepong; say HELLO to Sepang.
I came back from training, bath and straight away pack my luggage, moved everything into the car, PHEW~~~ Sweat Sweat Sweat. Took my lunch and going to take a nap now before i drive there.

I don't know i can get any Internet access over there, but...just to inform all of my friends, for those who concern or not concern. I am moving out from my home now, will come back this coming Saturday for competition purpose. After that, i will not come back that often, as i said before, the cost of travelling is really killing me. AwWWW...i gonna miss a lot of people here, Mulians especially and of course, KBU mates and Taekwondo buddy.

Hope my life over there will not bored like a dead fish, books and laptop will always be my best entertainment. Those who has any interesting story book, please pinjam=) Pleaseeee~~~

That's all from me. BYE=)

Yesterday was a really tiring day... Awake at 6am and drive all the way to Sepang. Alone in the car, such a long journey, really bored... I will become a phobia in driving if i travel everyday like this.

I'd found a house nearby Sepang which is at Kota Warisan. For those(only girls) who want to fly next day and want to find a place to stay, you can come to my place, FOC=)

First day of class, nothing much... A brief introduction and collect some stuffs which make me really excited for that, ngek ngek ngek. I saw some familiar faces and from their experiences in the class, i know it's not easy for these two months. A lot of things to learn, things is not as easy as you look from the surface.

I was in batch 97, not many people in the class, but a lot of them are X crew. Still in process getting a lot with them, they are nice though.

As i get to know by the landlord, they are not Internet access in the house, but i can 'hijack' from somewhere. So...i don't know how long i will abandon this blog. I will not come back every week cause the fare of travelling really expensive. Will come back when it's necessary.

Yay!!! Moon cake's festival tonight. Great buddy Mulians has another gathering again. Yohoo!!! Love it.

I feel bored to stay at home... So i decide to go back to KL plaza to hand in the present and go back to college to meet my coursemate for the 'last few times'.

I am not as cheerful as last time; not as real as last time. I don't want to get influence by you. After a few days, i can stay away from this horrible place and away from your face.

150km + RM16.80 + 1hour 25minutes
How much doest it cost me do travel all the way from Kepong to Sepang??? Is A LOT!!! I had decided to stay over there. I'd found a house and negotiating the rental. Hopefully the result is what i expect lar...

Don't want to talk unhappy things at here already. I had spilled it all to someone else today, i feel much more released. Thank you for lending me your 'Eyes'. I miss you so much.

Past & Present

People keep asking me what i had done for the past 5 months break. I worked with an advertising company where they produce ads, all sorts of ads and compile it into a magazine. Sometimes, i help them out with menu, logo and name card design too.

Well, i learned a lot of things. Of course, my skill in Ai and Photoshop had improved a lot. But, most of the ads that i had produced i not satisfy with it. For me, those ads are just to fulfill customer's needs, they like to put everything into a box, all information, no space to breath at all. Once, i was given an opportunity to help a client to design an ad for 'Sister's Magazine'. That's the ad that i like the most. Of course, amendments had done for a few times until they approve.
Picture as below:

I resign on September, reason: i need some break. But, i'm still doing freelance. Pretty frustrated when i see my colleague call me in and out, especially during my napping hour. Got to stick with my maibox everytime, internet is the best way to keep us in touch.

Well, this will be the last month in helping them out. My passion with art and design is always there. Working with Ad company is not easy. I wish i can continue my study in future and my plan with 'two of them' will come true.

I had made this decision and i got to stick with it.

Back to college today, first day of Year 2. Meet all the classmates and tutors as well. Lovely Ms Tong Yin and adorable Mr Sean=P It was hard for me to open my mouth and tell her... But, i have too and i did it. I am so glad that she had selected me to take part on something, but...i am so sorry that i couldn't join. I wish i can join...really. Flashing back all the memories i had with them and that's the end. I'm gonna miss them a lot. Even though we are stress out for all the projects in Year One, i think all of us do enjoy a lot and da satisfaction when we see the complete works is really a big 'Whao Whao'. I will never get that feelings anymore.
The time, the memory, the hard worked we had been through will always save inside my 'motherboard'. I gonna miss you all a lot and i promise i will go back to college whenever i am free.

I differ one year, in case anything i will go back again but not with the same group anymore. The passion in design will always in my heart, nothing can delete it. I wish i can finish my degree whenever i can.


Thanks for the outings today and all the sweet memory...=)

Tomorrow

28th, second year of Graphic Design with KBU college. I guess i will be seeing old faces with new 'style'. I feel a bit nervous for tomorrow, 9.30am class. Errr....haha, don't know what's going to happen then.

Sunday, the day i love the most among the six days. (Training-class-home sweet home)

Useful

Today i make sue of my day, i didn't waste any second; any minute. I feel contented for what I'd done today. Keeps myself busy, sometimes make me feel happier.

I wish i don't need to touch those works again, but...because i need $ so much, i have to take the jobs. Aiks...

No #&$%@# for whole days, i guess is time to end this up. Forgive is the best solution.

forgive

I keep asking myself this question. Should I???
I can't face her still. I will move out if i can and hope time will prove everything.

But, i always remember, no matter how wrong she is, she's still the person i love the most and i owe her the most. Nothing can pay her back.

I keep go out these few days to stay away from her, but even when i'm outside, i hear her voice, i will not be happy too.

Life still goes on, i can heal this wound very fast, because nothing is impossible.

Whole day fully booked.
The day is getting nearer and nearer; more and more documents to be complete before 30th. Waste my petrol to go all the way to Subang, have to go tomorrow again=S
'
'
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'
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The 'thorn' is always there no matter how hard i try to forgive her. Hardly can talk to her, look at her, feel her like before. Sometimes, i feel she is so fake and is not the person i respect before.
I hate to keep secret, i feel like telling everyone, but i can't. Those who knows, they...just pretend don't know. They don't even mention one word or tell me what to do. Talking to the 'invisible people'. This might be the best way to make myself feel better.

Ignore it when i don't want to face it.

Sunday ( 22/9/2009 )
Right after training, all the 'Taekwondo Soul' of Taman Ehsan went to 'De PAstry' at Manajalara for Sir's 33 birthday celebration. The so call 'surprise' no more, thanks to the organizer=P




If things that can still under control of me, i will not let it happen. I leave earlier or i go later? I can't believe i see this with my own eyes, i hate this day!!!


Monday ( 23/09/2009)
As yesterday had planned, Sir invite us to one day trip to Ipoh together with her family and his 11months baby.

Eat-Play-Eat-Play-Eat

We depart at 6am, and arrived at 8 something.
Dim sun at 'Fu Shan', but failed!!! Is too crowded, we couldn't get any seat there. So, we just dined in at the nearby 'dim sum' restaurant.

Before we move on to water fall, we visit to 'Shan Bao Dong', it remind me of Mulians trip at pangkor.
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After water fall, we took our lunch at somewhere, it is a famous 'wan tan mee' stall. Again, it was so crowded until we have to stand there and wait for the seat. This time, we got it. Is quite delicious compare to the wan tan me i eat before.

Lastly, move on to another water place, we went to a pool side, play slider and hot spring. First time 'soak' myself in the hot water as hot as 40 degress celcious. They even boiled eggs over there, lol... This is so incredible.

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Last stop, dinner at somewhere, near the roadside 'Dai Pai Dong'. Leave around 8smtg, arrive home before 11pm.

I thought i can forget that incident, but it keeps flashing back on my mind nonstop. I wish i can delete it, but i can't. I hate those feelings. I feel awful, disgusting!!! I don't want to see the face, i don't want to step in that place anymore!!!

When people talk bad in front of you, take it as motivation. Even though you care about it so much and hurt badly inside, just pretend you are not when you are in front of those 'big mouth'. Always look at the bright side, take it as motivation and prove to the 'big mouth' one day that he/she is wrong!!!

I am fortunate for who i am and what i have now. I live for myself; not for others.

Hang Out

Yo!!! I feel so good to hang out with 'her' (Chai Yeow Yuan). Finally she got her one week break and her exam had just finished. I not only went to her house yesterday, but i meet her up today and hang around at 1u. Unfortunately, it will be better if another 'she' is there with us.

From 12pm to 7pm we were there, watched movie, shopping... Of course, I'd spent quite a lot too, but i already control, right yy???

Now, feel exhausted, i guess i can fall asleep immediately when i lie on the bed. Yay!!! No more insomnia.

Knockout

I did it!!! Now is time to reveal all the suspend that i had made in my previous blog. What is the 1 down, 4 more to go; 2 down, 3 more to go... The five are...

1st-1st round of Interview
2nd- 2nd round of interview
3rd-receive call from them
4th-medical check up
5th-receive call from them

What are the countdown that i had made previously??? It was the countdown for the 5th knockout.

Yes, i made it at last... Will be reporting myself in the end of the month at Air Asia.

Sunday, tiring day, sad day... Two of the Mulian is leaving. 'Qiqi, Gun!!! I miss you very much!!!'

No matter how tired i am, i still want to spend my time with Mulians. Love them so much!!!

Again

Again, i get insomnia again. From the moment i back from dinner, around 11pm smtg, i straight away go to bed. Until now...i can't sleep PEACEFULLY. A lot, lots of 'zhap pa lang' things floating on my mind. What the hell... So torturing. Plan to wake up at 5.30am tml for jogging, but now... i don't think i can make it. As someone mentioned before, why should i make myself so tired. So...i think i will just skip the jogging part.

Please, stay far far away from me. I don't like to get insomnia....

I had done the my work, waiting for approval. A little bit released, but not all. Went to Subang today, accompany someone for medical check up. Yiuuuu~~~those Malay peoples do thing damn it slow. Waited at there for a couples of hours. Yiuuuu~~~ Sien dao...

After that, i had a nice lunch with Jing and her family, 4smtg at Papparich, thank you for the treat. Yum~~~

Finally, i am back to my normal sleeping hour, which is 11pm. Yay!!!

GREAT

What a great day i had today. I know I'm gonna earn a lot for today's outing. As my expectations, i get a chance to see back my former teachers. Some of them still can recognize us; some or not. I really glad that we made this trip happen. More info, check out 'M Blog'=)

Quite tiring, awake in the early morning, 7am. It had been a while since i last awake at this time and stay up for whole day.

I'm tiring of thinking that 'thing' already. Don't want to countdown anymore, just be patience and wait, not to put too much hope.

Off to bed soon. Chiow

80% at home

Gosh, i get insomnia yesterday, AGAIN!!! Thinking about the 'call' again. I awake at 2.30am and can't fall asleep after that, wake up, walk around in living room, went to balcony and switch on tv and laptop. Until 5am, went to bed again. Finally, i can sleep until 7am and sent my brother to work.

Yikes=( I'm still waiting for the call...nervous nervous. Everyday put my hp in a high signal place just in case. AwWWW...torturing man.

At last, i am not a rubbish to stay at home doing nothing. I got some freelance job to do. Yay!!! Life like this not bad, work with relaxation.

Going to sweat myself out again. Chiow...

100% at home

Finally, i am 100% at home today. No outings, no working, no studying, no training. HmMm...feel not bad, but this kind of life cannot stay too long, if not, i will become a 'rubbish'.

What I'd done today, watch drama, do housework, eat, shit. That's all.

Gonna do something tml, which is...
~Clean up my bedroom
~Exercise
~Watch Drama

Weeee~~~ Finally i am free, but my mind is not free yet.

Countdown: 8 days left

SWEAT

Another day that makes me sweat a lot, not the S.W.T, i mean really sweat, real one.

Morning went for TKD training, yc, berborak until 2pm and headed to Kepong Baru for badminton. Phew, feel so good. Sweat like hell, i feel myself is thinner...hahaha=P

AwWW...soon soon soon, very soon. Kia Kia~~~

Countdown: 9 days left

Tired

Right now, this second, this minute, i feel damn sleepy. Dare not to sleep too late anymore, continuously for a few days. Doesn't feel good at all.

I need more sleeping hour...=D

Countdown: 10 days left

A day for MUM

Yes, my title states clearly, a day for my MUM. Whole day out from 8am morning until late night. When to market, night and morning market to buy some stuff. As you know, now is ghost's month, that's why need to buy this and that.

Yay, at last i can go out tomorrow for my favourite 'Final Destination 4', yohoo!!!

HmMmm...still think about it, can't stop thinking about 'YOU', just for these few days, but it's torturing. I hate the feeling of waiting.

countdown: 12 days left

Final stage, wait for the call again. The most critical one. 4 down, 1 more to go.
I made a big mistake today, i didn't realized my vision power had increased so much, the right eye, until i couldn't read the word clearly, eventually they gave me a really low grade for my vision. Hopefully it will not influence anything, ANYTHING!!!

I'd called to resign today, is all out of my control. I must do so and i did it=) Feel much released. One more thing left is go back and pack my thing; hand in back the key. Ant that's the end...

Countdown: 13 days left

Mad

Again, i mad at these peoples again. When then need you; they talk to you nicely; when you had done what they want, they will talk to you in a different way.

AGAIN!!! Unfair thing happen again, I can help him; but why can't THEY ask him to help me??? (Because I'm too good, YA RIGHT!!!) Is ok, i tell myself, *be patience*. No more second time, no more second chance. Is YOU who treated me this way, and you will know how what will happen next.

Good news, THREE down; TWO more to go. I received their call today, but...the excitement is not 100%, maybe those stupid fellow influence me. Hopefully, the BONE is straight; the BODY is healthy.

Going to kill the DEVILS tomorrow. Weeee~~~

Patience

What i need to do now is be patience, not to get pissed with 'someone'. Even though i have anger inside my heart, i still have to smile when i see this person. Bear with them a few more hours. That's all i need to do.

Things are so unfair sometime that you couldn't complain too much, what i can do is borrow a pair of ear from one or two persons.

I am so exhausted, tired. I can't take it, but i have to take it. I get insomnia, no matter how tired i am, i still couldn't sleep well.

Trying so hard to be cheerful when i meet people, wanna hide away my tiredness and my negative emotions. I believe i make it. So far so good.

This is the only place to tell my secret, to the public but not face to face. I feel much better to type it down instead of saying it out.

O.F.F

Chiang Chiang Chiang

Almost one week i abandon my blog, really not in the mood to update because of the phone call. I thought i will receive in one week time, but no answer; no email. I guess I'd failed. but none of my friends receive too. ArHhhh...feel so bad.

OT OT OT, continuously 7 days already. Sunday work, 31st have to work too. DragggggggGGggg...

Finally, i back to training today, sweat a lot; i like it; performance drop a lot; i hate it. Yikes... Got to commit more.

Will update again, hopefully...=)

Waiting

Waiting is torturing... second day already, i'm still waiting. Thinking of it everyday, every second, every minute. I don't like this feeling, but, what to do...is all out of my control. Even though is my BRAIN, i can' control it.

Two out of Five have done. Three more to go...

Sunday, same routine. Something different is went to McD to hang out a while. Haha, at least i did go out somewhere in this lovely day. So...23rd of August, one more week+ 1 DAY before 1st of Sept. Yes, why i mention that 1 DAY??? Because today, SUNDAY!!! They ask me back to office for OT!!! Why not they just make it to Monday??? Yiuuu~~~ So frustrating!!!

Anyways, i guess this will be the last month of working, college is going to reopen soon or if i get an offer from somewhere. So i decide to resign.

One more week to destine my dream. One more week...

light shoulder

Wow!!! I feel so much released now. Feel like a tans of stone had been abandoned from my shoulder!!! Feel so good, MAN!!!

I feel so proud of myself that i'l be able to drive all the way from Kepong-Kelana Jaya(pick my friend up)-Sepang and from there back to Kepong again. Wooof...no lost!!! Tak ade sesat. A big big thanks to YY who told me to follow the signboard from A-Z.

God bless me too and thanks for the signboard=P

At this moment, i really not dare to judge myself whether i pass or fail. I already do my best. Results will come out in one week time.

Great day for me, thank god=)

Hopefully i can reach there on time tomorrow. 'Deng Deng' God bless me, i don't want to lost in the middle of the road.

Get set, GO~~~

Errr...today, i went for class at KL, is a short briefing for saturday. Ermmm...raining heavily when i wanted to take monorail back to kepong. Luckily got something to cover me. Arrived home around 9 smtg, met mum up at her friend's house, headed to night market and follow by dinner. Eventually, arrived home quite late and i'm going to bed after this.

Is getting nearer... I talk until 'SIEN' already, but...still want to say, i feel damn NERVOUS.

OK,

GOOD NIGHT.

Yesterday after i came back from training, around 11pm, i wanted to sign in MSN and blog. But, cannot on9 due to whatsoever Internet connection problem.

I guess i seldom sign in to MSN recently, except during my working hour. When i everytime I arrive home, i don't feel like signing in msn. Due to some personal emotional problem. Anyhow, i'm now trying to get rid of it. But i guess these few days i will be quite busy with something, which is really really important to me. Next week will be another better week for me, (i hope*bless me*).

HmMm...i seldom hang out recently, especially with Mulians. Some of them are busy with test, with work, study, etc... Hardly can find a time to come out. More and more Mulians will be leaving on next month.

MULIANS, hopefully we can have one more outing before three of you leave, which consists more than 10 persons to join .

BAD

'I feel like i need to change.
'I feel myself is so bad.
'Bad person, bad attitude.
'Being so fake sometimes,
never treat people sincerely.
'Being so selfish sometimes,
when i just think about myself.
'Being so impatience always,
always scold in that person in my heart when i'm so not satisfy with him/her.

Recently, things around me are going quite smoothly. I know, god is blessing me. Bless me a lot and bless me two days ago for successful in the interview; bless me yesterday, making myself performing well in the class. Because of this, i mustn't be a bad person, i am fortunate for who i am and i shouldn't take things for granted.

I don't want to be a devil, i just feel myself is so so so bad recently. I don't want to be selfish, i don't want to talk bad things, i don't want to be impatience. I don't want to be a bad person.

R.I.P Sylvester

Even I'm not close to him, but...(so much words that i can't describe by words). Yesterday, when i get to know the news of you, it was a big shocked for me. I just can't believe it came so sudden, when i told Jing who was just came out from the interview room, even she was so happy that she got through, but she cried immediately when i told her the news.

Then...
She told me something,
'I feel so regret that i never close with him before even he is my classmate'.

And this...
remind me of something, appreciate everyone who is around you, don't care you like or don't like him/her, just put the hatred aside. Try to love them, treat them sincerely as your friend. As you don't know, one day... He/She might just leave like this...

Yesterday,
At night,
In the car,
I heard ZH said Sylvester actually hope that we(Mulians) can pay a visit to him when he was in hospital. When i heard about this, my tears stream down. None of us know he wanted us to visit him and i do not know he was is hospital and seriously sick. I think the last time i saw him was in OU with Mulians, that time me and Zh was sitting on the bench waiting for them to finish movie.

During the funeral,
I saw him, i feel so much(again, feelings that cannot be tell by words). Saw the videos of him, and some words,
'You are not alone, you will always be in our heart, we miss you; we love you, RIP Sylvester'.
I think this sentence tells ours feeling... Time by time, the song of MJ 'You are not alone' was broadcasted. Again, it brings out the message from us 'Syl, you are not alone'.

Until now,
I'm still thinking of this friend.

To Syl,
May you R.I.P, i will always remember you and miss you.

It is so overwhelming, i just can't stpo thinking about it every second, every minute... It's getting closer. Butterflies all over my stomach. I hope everyone, including myself can do well this time.

Not until end of this week, i will not settle my mind down. I plan to MIA for my blog until Sunday(if it's a good news); until Monday(if it's a bad news).

Not to forget, all the best to Taman Ehsan TKD team for the coming tournament and sorry i will not be there but i will always support all of you mentally here.

GOSH!!! Again!!! I just can't stop it!!!

I know

I know why I put my status to Busy today (even though I'm not)
I know why I feel so sleepy today (even though i nap)
I know why I chat with her so little today (even though i miss her so much)
I know why I don't want to talk much today (even though i am such a talkative person=P)

BECAUSE
I feel emo,
for upcoming...xxx
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I feel nervous about something,
is about my future, my dream.
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I feel scared,
scared of failure;
scared to disappoint someone.

BLESS ME.

What i like

This is what i like, HOLIDAY=) Went out with mum in the early morning, 7am, visit my aunt and went to market... Reach home, eat, watch tv and take a nap, after half an hour of napping... Someone rang my doorbell, i quickly woke up, changed my clothes and opened the door. It was 'Jing Jing', she stood outside there, i was so surprised, she just came so sudden, she sent me a message but because of coverage problem, i didn't receive any; sent a msg in msn, of course i don't see it, i was sleeping... So...force to wake up lo... And we started our 'PRINT TEE' mission. We did three T-shirt in 3 hours time...

After all, i was sweating and felt so hot... Quickly bath and get ready to training. This time training, sweat a lot, laugh a lot, sampat a lot... Especially those 'PUI PUI' one, who makes so much noise that cause so much laughter...=P

Random pictures are taken as below:

See the 'MACHO' guy, and it is SOoooo BIG...@.@

Of course, not to miss the 'golden opportunity' to pose together with them=)

Fei Lou (take 1)

Fei Lou (take 2)

Fei lou (Take 3)
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Next stop, Chandran... (Thanks to 'UNCLE' who treated me and jing, i know...i already owe you a lot=P

THE END~~~

ZzZ...