Monday, June 21, 2010


Now i realize, almost everything i do is 'ALONE', especially when i back to Sepang.
Yesterday, i was walking alone to the car park, it was a very far distance and was really a lonely midnight.

Being alone all the time (not always). It makes me become more independent. When i in trouble; or when i feel like talking to somebody, most of the time i will handle it by my own. I wish there is always a person for me to tell, but...there is no one there that i can really tell the problem word by word.

My handphone is always silent and free, it will never rang until those people really needs my help. But what to do, this is what friends for.

I will off for Langkawi for three days two night, yohoo!!!!!!!

Thursday, June 17, 2010

Lack of something

Sometimes i feel happy because i got what i want, especially a bunch of best friends. Most of the time, i feel like lack of something and that is 'Family'. Since that day i argue with her, we do not speak to each other for...few weeks. She used to wake me up and ask me to go market with her, watch movie with her, go shopping with her.... But now, all of these do not happen.

I feel happy, but i feel lack of something. Things are still not perfect.

Friday, June 11, 2010

Four days off had finally end...
It is time for me to get back to work. Just like the same feelings i had before, feel weird=P

I got enough of outings for the passed few days and also quite enough of rest and satisfactions on TV and internet.

I still feel down recently, the 'outside' me is not the 'inside' me. I'm trying so hard to get rid of this hard feelings. I believe thing will gone better as time goes by. Just that this is not the right time.

I'll be leaving soon and go back to that boring place, will be back on Tuesday evening.

Wednesday, June 9, 2010

Finally, i'm back to home... I am just invisible to her; and she is invisible to me too. I am here for my Fluffy, friends, tv and internet. I so evil, i know... But there's still alots of things 'behind the scene' that you don't know.

As long as i still invisible to her, my mood will get influence always and you will see my blog is about this matter. She's the only one that really affect me alot.

I just can say, ' Do not demand too much for your life, 'less is more'.

Sometimes things keep inside the heart, you don't need to say out by mouth, 'you can't see it, but i hope you can feel it'. I do not know when is this going to end, just let it be... I don't want to do anything. I already feel sick of it.

Friday, June 4, 2010

I always got that kind of weird feeling after my off days, maybe i feel scared to step into that office, step into that house. But ermm...i will get use to it after my first day working.

I don't know what to blog, sien dao~~~

I will be back on...tuesday(hopefully, if no call up). If not, that will be tuesday midnight and i will be free for three days, yohoo!!!

Thursday, June 3, 2010

'Working keep me immune' and i tend to forget the unhappy thing. But, i can't avoid thing in this way. I always think positive, i know time can heal everything. This period just not that right time to talk. I will just do my part and keep silent.

'I am fortunate' for who i am. Even though i don't have a complete family, i do have a bunch of great friends and most importantly i do have a few who really care about me.

I'm ok, i'm alright, i will be happy.

Tuesday, June 1, 2010


I admit i am in a so call 'emo' situation since yesterday, mainly is because of my dog. Most of the people asked me why and when i tell then, they will just said 'will be alright'. I understand that's all they can say to comfort me and they might just a dog.

I don't know why, i really care about the dog, my emotions for these few days all jumble up because of him, except during working i have to put everything aside. I don't like to stay at home because it reminds me of him so much.

and i want to tell someone who don't know how to surf the net and if you can, please read this.

Dear Mum,
You left me a note on the table yesterday when i got back home saying that i cannot be back after 12am if not you will lock the door. Don't you think this kind of action is just doesn't work on me? Do you think i am still the 12years old girl? I know you are concern about me, but...what if i work until late night 2/3am? are you going to lock me outside? If only you allow me to leave home late only when i'm working, why not when i hang out with my friends also? You have gone through your teenage life too, don't restrain me like this. Don't make me until i don't want to stay in this home and eventually i will just move out from here.

Something that you did before that really hurts me, i am so pissed of with you but still i forgive you. And you keep forcing me to do something that i don't want to do, why the hell i have to say hi and hello to that retard? I can forgive you, but not that retard. If so, i might as well don't talk to both of you.

I need some space to breath, you and me both have the problem with the job, who else doesn't have? That's why i need entertainment, not that i don't inform you when i go out, i did, but don't call me like a mad person! I hate to be restrain, i can inform you but give me a BREAKkkkkkk!!!